Saturday, June 14, 2014

Goodbye, April May.

Hi guys,

I'm going to deviate from books in this post, so please bear with me. And this may get very weepy. So, warning.

If you're following me on Instagram, then I'm sure that you are familiar with my beautiful baby, April. She makes for very cute photos because not only of her really long tongue that makes her look like she's always in some kind of wacky post, but because she's also generally cute. The camera just loves her, and a lot of people do as well.

April sleeping.

We got April a couple of years ago, scrawny and mousey but as years passed, she gained a ton of weight thus the excess skin, but that only really added to her appeal. (She always got the munchies. Always.)

April eating a piece of pandesal.

April with her stuffed bunny, Lola.

I cannot express how much my family loves April. She's a constant in our lives. She comes to us for food even though she's already eaten (April is literally a bottomless pit), she snores like a sailor/grown man, sneezes a lot, has horrible breath, hogs a ton of bed space and is super clingy but we wouldn't have her any other way. It's those qualities that make us love her so much.

April yawning.

April wearing our school uniform.

April has been through a lot, she used to have seizures because of an infection but she made it through that. She has colds a lot but she made it through those too. But I guess this was fate talking.

April watching the scenery.

April had been feeling a bit under the weather the past few days so we decided to take her to the vet. And the results weren't that bad (this was just yesterday) so we were focused on getting her better.

April napping in her little house.

This morning, April stayed on our bed for a bit. We petted her like normal and cuddled her but she still looked tired. Her breathing seemed a bit labored and her tummy ached so we kept her in her cage to prevent more damage. And then it happened...

With just a little scream, April passed.

No one expected it. We all thought that she'd have a few more years with us. None of us were ready. Seeing her lie there, unmoving. It was terrifying and hearbreaking. How would we survive without her? A constant in our lives? How can I wake up knowing that she won't be there jumping to greet me? Or to see her "just woke up" face? Or even that really long tongue? How do you recover from losing a part of you? This is the very first loss I have ever experienced and I never thought that it would be this painful but it is. There's a crushing weight on my shoulders and my heart feels so heavy. I literally canNOT stop crying and nothing can make me feel better right now. (Yes, I am crying while typing up this post.)

April sitting up.

I want to ask God, why but I won't. I know that there was a reason she was taken from us and I trust God enough to know that He had a plan, that He knew what He was doing. So I can only pray that God will love her enough for us, that He will take care of her and let her be free. I hope that April will be happy and well-fed up there, and that's all we can hope for.

The very last picture I took of April on June 10th 2014.
We will always love you, April. No dog or animal or even human can ever replace you. You'll always be my Baby May. I am so lucky to have been a part of your life, to have been given the chance to be your friend and family. Thank you for sharing your light with us, you never failed to brighten our days. There are so many more moments that I wish I could have shared with you but I can't anymore... Sure, you never got to be the next Miley Cyrus but I think that you'll have other opportunities in Heaven. And I know that we will see each other again someday. I love you, April, and I don't know when I'll be able to let you go, I don't think it's anytime soon but I'll do my best to live on. We'll miss you. Thank you, April. Thank you. You will live on.

Goodbye, April. Paalam, aking kaibigan.



  1. This is so sad... I know how it feels to lose someone you love. I also lost a dog last year and I still cry for her even now. Here's my post about her:

    Someday, it would all be less painful. For now, it's ok to cry...

    1. Thanks for sharing your post, Lily. I cried while reading it. The pain is still too raw but I know that one day it'll heal, not completely, but at least it will. Right now, I'm just letting it all out. Thank you for reading and meeting April in this post.

  2. I'm so sorry Louisse…It might have been her time already. I have never had a dog last long enough for me to see them pass so I'm not sure how you're feeling. But I love dogs especially cute ones. I'm def gonna remember April and her very weird but cool tongue. :( I hope you feel better.

    1. You'll never be prepared or ready enough for family member (that's what April is, still can't use was) to pass away but I never expected for it to happen this early. April will always be a memorable dog, anyone who has met her knows how special she was. I'll feel better one day, but not any time soon. Thank you for reading, Chyna. Wish you and Poochie could have met April.

  3. So sorry - I have four Chihuahua's and don't know what I will do when its that time. Stay strong and remember you will see her again someday.

    1. We have two chihuahuas left with us and I'd like to think that God has given us a chance to care for Sam and Lily as much as we cared for April. Trust me, you'll never be ready but when the time does come, just cry. Grieve. Thank you, Deb, that's one of the only things that's keeping me sane, knowing that I'll see her again.

  4. I once had a dog, he's just an 'askal' but we love him very much. I can still remember the day we found him at our backyard, almost hairless and full of dog fleas. We took care of him and named him Bamboo. He grew up healthy and was very sweet. But one day, I woke up with a man standing at our front door. He told us what happened. That my very sweet Bamboo was killed. Some drunk bystanders killed him with a bolo knife. All I found was blood... It's still heartbreaking even though it happened years ago. I still cry when I think of him. I feel your loss, Louisse. *huge panda hugs*

    1. Oh my gosh! That is so crazy... :( I am so sorry for your loss, Algel. Sometimes, it feels like it never gets better. *hugs*

  5. Aww this is heartbreaking and I can't believe what that must be like for you. My sister lost her dog not too long ago so I know just how hard it can be. Sorry for your loss, doll. She had a life full of love and happiness which meant the world to her! <3

    1. I hope that we were able to love her enough but thank you so much for saying so, Giselle! We definitely fed her a lot, haha. Condolences to your sister, I now know what it feels like to lose family, I hope that your sister is feeling better now. :)